I’m constantly in awe at how blessed I am to have a husband that adores his children.
He’s naturally a kid-person (I, on the other hand, had to “grow” in that department).
That said, I’ve make a conscious effort to help him in the area of “bonding” with our children. He’s already so amazing at it, but there are something things that I’ve done that have facilitated that process.
These tactics don’t even take nagging words. In fact, these 10 things to inspire daddy bonding time don’t use much talking at all!
10 Things Moms Can Do to Inspire Daddy Bonding Time
1. Speak Positively About the Children
Have you ever had a friend say something negative about another mom whom you don’t really know?
You take that negativity into that relationship.
Same when you complain about your children. If you are constantly voicing your frustration and irritation with the children, it won’t inspire daddy-bonding time.
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Continually expressing how wonderful the children are and how proud you are of them will help your husband (their father) see them for the precious people they are!
2. Set a Great Example
If you are calm and quiet with the children, get down on the floor and play a board game, and become the ideal parent, chances are he’ll be inspired to “up” his parenting game.
Setting a great example will help him know what it looks like and how much fun it can be to spend more time with the children.
3. Allow Him Downtime
I’m an extrovert. I don’t need much downtime.
I also spend all day with the kids. I’m used to the chaos.
Most dads work outside the home. They aren’t used to the noise and general rowdiness of children as much as you are.
Giving him a chance to relax at some point during the evening (or even right after he gets home) will allow his brain to refocus and his body to be energized to play with the kiddos.
4. Let Him Lead
Allowing your husband time and space to find his own way to spend time with the children.
If you force him to spend time or try to manipulate him with guilt, he’ll only resent you (and perhaps the kids) for it.
Letting your husband lead the way in connecting with the children will make for a more genuine bond.
Nothing moves mountains like prayer.
If you are having an especially hard time getting your husband to bond with the children, take to your knees.
The God of Heaven desires that children have present-minded fathers, he is faithful to answer your cries for help!
Many times husbands might feel like their wives are hovering and judging their parenting efforts.
By leaving the house (or at least the room) it allows him room to be his own man.
Turn off your cell phone (with his permission) so that your children aren’t tempted to call for “mom’s way” of doing things.
I would encourage moms to discuss the possibility of leaving the home for a few days if possible (tell your husband that you’ll reciprocate the favor). Giving your husband and children more than simply a few hours together will create memories that will last forever.
Think on this: You and your husband have been parents for the EXACT SAME AMOUNT OF TIME.
I know. Mind-blowing, right?
Moms don’t have the corner on the market on raising children, fathers are just as capable.
Trust him. Trust his judgement. Trust his parenting ability.
It might just surprise you what he can accomplish.
8. Praise His Efforts
Compliments and praise for efforts (even ones that aren’t grand) does wonders for a man’s ego.
He might not see his own job well done and it helps to have someone else tell him he’s doing good.
An added benefit, if he gets used to you point out his accomplishments, he might be more apt to point out the wonderful things he sees you doing with the children!
9. “Go Ask Your Father.”
Moms have a tendency to take over every chore, question and request.
If your children come in for something, don’t be afraid to say “Go Ask Your Father.”
Allowing children to realize that mommy doesn’t have to always be the one to complete a task allows fathers to take the lead.
And don’t just save the unwanted tasks for dad (in fact, I would caution against that!) but when they ask you “when did you and dad get married?” or “what did you think when you found out you were pregnant with me?” send them dad’s way!
It’s important your children not only recognize your husband as a useful parent, but as a person who has great thoughts and feelings.
10. Tell the Kids How Awesome Dad Is
My kids will often ask me something. I might even have the answer.
But if the subject at hand is something my husband is especially skilled in I’ll redirect their attention to his expertise.
“Your daddy is soooo smart. Go ask him about the time he did XYZ.”
Let him hear your words. When they come to him for information or story, he’ll be willing to pour into their little souls.
Most of All
Above all, when employing these silent tactics, make sure your mommy-heart is in the right place. Doing everything with a good heart paves the way for a flourishing relationship between you, your spouse and your children.
Doing things out of a selfish heart robs the joy you’ll and your husband would otherwise find.